Mom, That Was Really Fun.

Now let me just say this started out as one of those days that could have left me and all three children in tears. And let me just also say, Chase did NOT say "Mom, that was really fun" until just now when I tucked him in. He said all sorts of awful, punky, teenage-sounding things. Here's what happened. The kids all woke up late and whined all the way to swim team practice. It rained off and on the whole time. And whereas we normally stay after for Caroline's 11:00 swim lesson, today we drove home in hopes that the rain would actually produce THUNDER and Caroline's lesson would be cancelled. No such luck. We drove back to the pool and she swam in the rain. When I got home, we were ALL soggy and grouchy. The kids were fighting like cats and dogs. I tried without success to get a few things done, make a few phone calls. It stopped raining and the sun peeked out here and there. I made lunch. The kids fought. And just as I was about to lose it, I said, "Get your shoes on and grab the bug spray, we're going to Burke Lake." The two little ones screamed in delight. Chase looked at me in disgust. "DO IT," I said. We drove to the lake, just 20 minutes away, and headed for the marina. I walked up to the window and announced that we wanted to do some sort of boating. Paddle boats, maybe? They didn't do paddle boats any more, and the row boats had a three person max, but they told me drive down the road to Fountainhead Regional Park, where there was a four person max. I had never heard of it. Chase immediately started campaigning to go home. To buy time to think, I wandered down to the pier where the kids and I were threatened by a few geese disappointed with our lack of snacks. We hopped back into the car, bound for Fountainhead. It was just down the road, but the drive was GORGEOUS. We parked, walked up to the little wooden shack, which had a series of drive-in style windows. The last window was for boat rentals. Chase was saying things like "Mom, this is dumb. Mom, it's hot. Mom, I'm tired. Mom, I DON'T want to go in a boat." I said, things like HUSH. ZIP IT. KNOCK IT OFF. We rang the little bell, and this adorably cheerful teenage boy said, "Hi!" I said, "We want to go boating. What do you think?" He said there was an 80 percent chance of storms, so he'd recommend the jonny boat (ie. a metal military looking rowboat) instead of a paddle boat. I knew the worst of the rain had passed, but his statement was enough to send Chase into a total tailspin. I AM NOT GETTING IN THAT BOAT. When the guy pulled out four seat cushions and four life jackets, Chase told him, JUST THREE. I turned and hissed, "HUSH. Stop it. This is going to be awesome and you are going to shut your mouth right now." He sulked. Caroline and Cole were jumping up and down so much I thought they'd pee on the deck. The fellow asked if I'd like a motor and battery. And for some bizarre reason, I said, "No thanks," and for some equally bizarre reason, he seemed to think that was a normal answer. Then he handed me a very kinky looking gadget and said, "Here you go!" I said, "Um. What do I do with this?" He said, "It's a boat plug!" I said, "Um. What do I do with this?" again. He explained that I was to plug the hole that they drill in the boats to keep them from getting stolen at night. OK. Off we went. I tried to look confident as I strapped on life vests and dragged the boat into the water. I obviously didn't succeed, because Chase totally freaked out and said, "NO. No WAY, Mom. Just go and I'll watch from here." I said, "Chase just get in the stinking boat, this is going to be so much fun and you're going to miss out. Don't be scared." He glared at me and got in. I climbed in, shoved off, and . . . immediately knew I was screwed. I could not row that damn thing to save my life. I tried alone. I tried with Chase. I tried sitting backwards, forwards, rowing backwards, rowing forwards. We drifted very far away from where we put in. Chase looked at me and said, "I'm calling that number on that card." I said, NO! I can do this! We drifted farther. Chase said, "I am NEVER trusting you again. [in mocking voice] It will be so much FUN. You'll miss OUT!" I started laughing and told him to zip it. And that was it. The floodgates opened. I got the giggles, and would try to row, and got the giggles again, and Chase finally rolled his eyes, dug out my phone and called the little emergency number and said, "Oh, hello. Here's my mother." [Typing break to start laughing again.] I asked the guy, just theoretically, if, say, I couldn't get my boat back to the dock, what exactly were my options. He said he'd gas up and come find us. We flailed around in the lake for a few more minutes, me laughing, Caroline sunning, Cole reaching in the water to catch things, and Chase desperately trying to suppress a smile. Around the bend came an identical boat, with a MOTOR, and two blue-shirted lake employees. They were clearly mocking me. They slowed down. The obvious superior of the two said, "So, first off. Do you know you're sitting in the boat backwards?" I said, "Of course I do, but it worked better than sitting in the boat the other way." He hooked us up and towed us in. We leaned back. Our hair blew gently in the breeze. Chase said, "WOW. Boating is awesome." I tried to focus on the horizon so I wouldn't barf. We pulled up, the blue-shirted guy said, "You can handle it from here, right?" I said, "Oh yes!" confidently, climbed out and promptly dipped my rear in the water. While wearing a skirt. I dragged the boat ashore, unloaded everyone, and we walked up to the little shack to turn in our stuff. The teenager said, "Had to get towed in, huh?" We all grinned sheepishly. Then we walked down to the other end to get a snack. The same teenager popped out from the window. We all burst out laughing. We got candy and trailmix and sodas and sat in the sun eating. Tim called to find out what the heck was going on with the picture I had texted him. He said, "You are crazy, do you know that? [pregnant pause] You know I used to work there, right?" I joked, "Oh yeah? Were you the teenager that pops out of all the windows like the Wizard of Oz." He said, "Actually. Yes." So of course when we went to the fishing window after and encountered the same teenager, we told him about Tim, and how he went to Robinson, and worked there junior and senior year - and can you believe this kid goes to Robinson? He was so excited, his acne flared up bright red. We decided to defer fishing until the weekend, mainly because I'd have to buy a pole and I have no idea how to get the hook on (I can handle the worms, just not the pole mechanics). So we headed out on a hike along one of the trails, and stumbled into the coolest old cemetery, with gravestones from the 1800s. Cole was in HEAVEN (no pun intended). Chase refused to cross through the gate (so cute). Finally we realized we'd all end up with blisters from our wet shoes, so we headed out for burgers, and came home to catch fireflies. And as I tucked the kids in, Chase gave me the biggest smile and said, "Mom. That was really fun." YEAH BABY!!!