And that's a tenuous sanity, because my mind gets disordered and anxious when my home gets disordered (and then my home also gets anxious because everyone starts bracing for mean Mom.) It's been a few weeks since I've been on here, and that's partly because I've been under a bit of a storm cloud. I'm guessing it's as close to depression as I've ever felt. I've had tendonitis in my ankle, and that chronic pain has made me SO GROUCHY. Not to mention the frustration of not being able to easily perform the physical requirements of mothering three young children (particularly Caroline) in a home full of staircases. Add to that the lack of sunlight. And a son who has been taking more asthma medicine lately, which affects his ability to function in the most rational manner. And the fact that my fuse is not particularly long to begin with (to quote many parents, I didn't know I had an anger problem until I had children). It's been rough. And my boys have been fighting CONSTANTLY. Just constantly. Loudly, from the minute they wake up (that would be 6:01 a.m., by the way). But the other day I was helping out in Cole's class. Cole, who is the one who takes a bunch of asthma medicine, and has been . . . challenging his parents a lot . . . is pretty much the perfect student. I know this sounds obnoxious. Actually, not just sounds obnoxious. I confess it is obnoxious for me to say that. But I'm quoting his teacher. She has four girls of her own and said Cole makes her want to have another child so she can have a son like Cole. I looked at her and blinked. I tried not to say, "You must be confused. I'm Nicole Seevers. Cole's mother? Your 11:10 appointment?" Thank you, Mrs. S, for reminding me what a great kid he is. In any case, I can sort of tell he's a great student by the way he talks about school. He's very into learning, for lack of a better description. And I witnessed it Friday - I expected to show up and have him run to me and cling and stop talking to people. It seems his tendency towards good student-ness overrides the part of him that is sometimes overmedicated and clingy. He was so engaged in that classroom. It was incredible. And in the course of that morning, the kids did a little art project. And I remembered how happy that makes my children. So I went home, and over the next few days, replenished our supplies. And I've been letting the kids just take over the dining room. Now, this is against my nature in almost every way. I still have to fight the urge to scream, "I can't take this! Clean this up! RIGHT NOW! No more polyester fiberfill all over the house! Why can't I find my tape! Who colored the wall with a purple glue stick?! I just stepped on another freaking STAPLE!" But, guess what? The dining room has always been useless, anyway. I'm not exactly in an "entertaining guests" phase in my life. It tends to be where I throw all the mismatched furniture (including a really mismatched chandelier because the last one exploded in an impressive display of sparks). We never got around to painting this room. And if we ever get enough money saved, we're planning on knocking down the wall anyway to make a double-wide kitchen. So why not let them take over. And guess what else? They've stopped fighting. THEY'VE STOPPED FIGHTING! Hallelujah. I just may live through this winter.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
The Art Room (Totally Against My Nature)
This has helped me just start to regain my sanity.
And that's a tenuous sanity, because my mind gets disordered and anxious when my home gets disordered (and then my home also gets anxious because everyone starts bracing for mean Mom.) It's been a few weeks since I've been on here, and that's partly because I've been under a bit of a storm cloud. I'm guessing it's as close to depression as I've ever felt. I've had tendonitis in my ankle, and that chronic pain has made me SO GROUCHY. Not to mention the frustration of not being able to easily perform the physical requirements of mothering three young children (particularly Caroline) in a home full of staircases. Add to that the lack of sunlight. And a son who has been taking more asthma medicine lately, which affects his ability to function in the most rational manner. And the fact that my fuse is not particularly long to begin with (to quote many parents, I didn't know I had an anger problem until I had children). It's been rough. And my boys have been fighting CONSTANTLY. Just constantly. Loudly, from the minute they wake up (that would be 6:01 a.m., by the way). But the other day I was helping out in Cole's class. Cole, who is the one who takes a bunch of asthma medicine, and has been . . . challenging his parents a lot . . . is pretty much the perfect student. I know this sounds obnoxious. Actually, not just sounds obnoxious. I confess it is obnoxious for me to say that. But I'm quoting his teacher. She has four girls of her own and said Cole makes her want to have another child so she can have a son like Cole. I looked at her and blinked. I tried not to say, "You must be confused. I'm Nicole Seevers. Cole's mother? Your 11:10 appointment?" Thank you, Mrs. S, for reminding me what a great kid he is. In any case, I can sort of tell he's a great student by the way he talks about school. He's very into learning, for lack of a better description. And I witnessed it Friday - I expected to show up and have him run to me and cling and stop talking to people. It seems his tendency towards good student-ness overrides the part of him that is sometimes overmedicated and clingy. He was so engaged in that classroom. It was incredible. And in the course of that morning, the kids did a little art project. And I remembered how happy that makes my children. So I went home, and over the next few days, replenished our supplies. And I've been letting the kids just take over the dining room. Now, this is against my nature in almost every way. I still have to fight the urge to scream, "I can't take this! Clean this up! RIGHT NOW! No more polyester fiberfill all over the house! Why can't I find my tape! Who colored the wall with a purple glue stick?! I just stepped on another freaking STAPLE!" But, guess what? The dining room has always been useless, anyway. I'm not exactly in an "entertaining guests" phase in my life. It tends to be where I throw all the mismatched furniture (including a really mismatched chandelier because the last one exploded in an impressive display of sparks). We never got around to painting this room. And if we ever get enough money saved, we're planning on knocking down the wall anyway to make a double-wide kitchen. So why not let them take over. And guess what else? They've stopped fighting. THEY'VE STOPPED FIGHTING! Hallelujah. I just may live through this winter.
And that's a tenuous sanity, because my mind gets disordered and anxious when my home gets disordered (and then my home also gets anxious because everyone starts bracing for mean Mom.) It's been a few weeks since I've been on here, and that's partly because I've been under a bit of a storm cloud. I'm guessing it's as close to depression as I've ever felt. I've had tendonitis in my ankle, and that chronic pain has made me SO GROUCHY. Not to mention the frustration of not being able to easily perform the physical requirements of mothering three young children (particularly Caroline) in a home full of staircases. Add to that the lack of sunlight. And a son who has been taking more asthma medicine lately, which affects his ability to function in the most rational manner. And the fact that my fuse is not particularly long to begin with (to quote many parents, I didn't know I had an anger problem until I had children). It's been rough. And my boys have been fighting CONSTANTLY. Just constantly. Loudly, from the minute they wake up (that would be 6:01 a.m., by the way). But the other day I was helping out in Cole's class. Cole, who is the one who takes a bunch of asthma medicine, and has been . . . challenging his parents a lot . . . is pretty much the perfect student. I know this sounds obnoxious. Actually, not just sounds obnoxious. I confess it is obnoxious for me to say that. But I'm quoting his teacher. She has four girls of her own and said Cole makes her want to have another child so she can have a son like Cole. I looked at her and blinked. I tried not to say, "You must be confused. I'm Nicole Seevers. Cole's mother? Your 11:10 appointment?" Thank you, Mrs. S, for reminding me what a great kid he is. In any case, I can sort of tell he's a great student by the way he talks about school. He's very into learning, for lack of a better description. And I witnessed it Friday - I expected to show up and have him run to me and cling and stop talking to people. It seems his tendency towards good student-ness overrides the part of him that is sometimes overmedicated and clingy. He was so engaged in that classroom. It was incredible. And in the course of that morning, the kids did a little art project. And I remembered how happy that makes my children. So I went home, and over the next few days, replenished our supplies. And I've been letting the kids just take over the dining room. Now, this is against my nature in almost every way. I still have to fight the urge to scream, "I can't take this! Clean this up! RIGHT NOW! No more polyester fiberfill all over the house! Why can't I find my tape! Who colored the wall with a purple glue stick?! I just stepped on another freaking STAPLE!" But, guess what? The dining room has always been useless, anyway. I'm not exactly in an "entertaining guests" phase in my life. It tends to be where I throw all the mismatched furniture (including a really mismatched chandelier because the last one exploded in an impressive display of sparks). We never got around to painting this room. And if we ever get enough money saved, we're planning on knocking down the wall anyway to make a double-wide kitchen. So why not let them take over. And guess what else? They've stopped fighting. THEY'VE STOPPED FIGHTING! Hallelujah. I just may live through this winter.
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