A Carefree Day . . .

Cole was in the hospital again, for five and a half days this time - RSV. There were times I was scared out of my mind, and it was a week of learning how little control I have (a very hard thing for me to accept). The pulmonologist told me that no amount of effort on our part would get him out of the hospital and breathing on his own until the virus itself had decided it was done with him. He was right. Meanwhile, Tim managed somehow to do his job AND mine for the week, attending meetings at the office, taking Chase to the bus stop in the mornings and picking him up in the afternoons, making lunches, labeling Valentine's cards, attending school events, keeping the house together, and more - I don't know how he did it all, and I'll be forever grateful. I left the hospital for about three hours on Saturday to take Chase to basketball - another moment of relinquishing my precious control. Chase, who came to the hospital every day after school to visit his brother, had to show me how to find the elevators at the hospital, the parking garage and the car, then direct me to the rec center and walk me through the whole basketball routine. It was bizarre, scary and refreshing. So, while I would have normally come charging home ready to resume routines, clean, do laundry and paperwork, and whip everyone back into shape, I decided today that after our doctor's appointment and lunch with Grandpa (and may I just digress here for a moment to say Grandpa was another saving grace this week - driving through rush hour traffic night after night to bring me delicious dinners and reading materials, visiting Cole, and keeping Chase entertained), we would spend the day doing whatever we wanted. (How's that for a run-on sentence). We made Valentine's Day cupcakes (since we missed the real day) and I let the boys ice them, decorate them and eat as many as they wanted. There was icing all over the kitchen, and I really didn't care. We played naked pirates (well, I skipped the naked part). Chase dug into this wonderful art kit he got from his cousins for Christmas, and started experimenting with bird seeds, so we pulled out Princess Leia's food (Leia being our now deeply neglected hamster, for those who've forgotten), and made bird feeders with pine cones, soy nut butter and hamster food, and hung them on the big tree in front of the house (which we hope will be flowering before Caroline arrives). Now, I can't pretend to be all THAT laid back. We did, after all, hang RODENT food in front of our house, so I figured I'd give it a day or two and then take them down. And I'm sure the Homeowners' Association is not going to be a fan. But that being said, we had a great time, got really messy, and I managed to go the whole day without snapping at my kids out of my own hang-ups with imperfection. (Of course, I did snap at them for the inevitable scuffles that broke out between them - I have not yet learned to keep out of their conflicts.) Wish I could say this semi-relaxed attitude would last, but I'll certainly TRY to hold onto the little bit of perspective I gained this week.